I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
