Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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