Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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