what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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