Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
