The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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