don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
