Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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