She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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