They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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