Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
