Soap is not a condiment
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
