i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
