Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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