You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
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I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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