tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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