Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
