Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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