me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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