Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he thought i was a dude.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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