I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
