I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
