I feel like abortions should bother me more
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize