We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
