what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize