Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
