The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I currently don't understand fingers.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
