I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize