I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
