Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
