There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
