Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You are the jesus of drinking
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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