Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize