Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Congratulations! We have a period
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
