we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
