By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
