I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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