if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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