they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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