why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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