your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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