He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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