In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
