Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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