Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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