everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
