Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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