So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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