Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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