My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize