she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
