apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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