Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
