I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
