Im at strip club and am horny
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
