all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
