it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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