we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
