omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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