I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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